The definition of ego we’re using here at Ego Rehab is not the same as the definition of ego used in psychology. I’ve had discussions with friends who insist the ego is useful and necessary. My ego wants to argue with them, but of course that would take me nowhere (except right back to Ego Rehab! 😂) Any time you need to be right, i.e. you’re identified with a mental position, you’re in your ego. So I simply say to them, “That’s not my definition of ego. You’re talking about the psychological ego.” 

The modern spiritual definition of ego is what we’re using here, basically Eckhart Tolle’s definition from A New Earth. I’m going to attempt to summarize it here…

Ego is the false self, the illusory self, the part of you that is completely identified with form, with the mind, with the dream state. It’s a state of confusion and the cause of most suffering. The ego is made up of a conglomeration of “sticky” thoughts and their accompanying emotions. Although, you could consider the emotions a separate “entity.” Eckhart Tolle calls the emotional side of the ego the pain-body. Ego and pain-body are closely intertwined.

Anything you unconsciously identify with becomes a part of your ego, according to Tolle. For example, I didn’t realize how identified I was with my job when I was a flight attendant in my 20s. Then, at 29, I was fired and I went through a HUGE identity crisis that lasted years. I even had recurring dreams about being in the airport or on a flight in my uniform but I couldn’t find my employee ID. During that time my ego found a new identity, as a fired flight attendant. I wore that ego outfit for years, trying to get attention, and making myself out to be a victim. 

This type of ego is completely unnecessary and in fact can impede your connection to Spirit/Consciousness/Source/Being/God if you are unaware of it.

I love Adyashanti’s descriptions of the ego. He says ego isn’t a thing, it’s a process, specifically our process of identity. It’s a grasping at “someoneness” instead of resting in Oneness, in reality, in the ultimate Truth. It’s the illusion of the separate self. It’s not real. He also describes ego as a state of consciousness (the egoic state of consciousness) or as the egoic operating system. He says it’s not a noun, but a verb. And he says awakening is just a shift in perception.

An analogy I love is the ego as a swarm of bees. The bees are huddled around the queen, which in our case is the “I” thought, the “I am someone” thought. The bees—the thought forms—follow that queen around, until they hit an obstacle and dissipate. But they quickly come back together and more bees may even join them. They may get stronger and stronger. 

When you shine the light of your awareness on the ego, it dissolves momentarily, only to re-form itself when you’re not looking. More thought form identifications—concepts we believe—can sneak in. “I’m spiritual, therefore I’m special.” “I have more money than he does.” “She shouldn’t have done that.” The buzzing in our minds is deafening!

Adya says the ego is “sticky” and tends to draw our attention. That swarm of bees is always promising us a hive full of honey if we follow it, if we listen to it. So we let it buzz around our minds and obscure our thinking, obscure our conscious connection, our divine clarity and Truth.

Well, so much for a short summary! 😂 I could go on and on, but will stop here. We’re going to delve deeper into the ego and all its layers later, but I wanted to get our basic definition out there.

Image by Freepik