I want to continue along the lines of the last post on the victim identity. I had a discussion a while back with a friend about this. I was telling her about how the ego likes to identify as a victim and that we need to let go of that identity and look at how we have allowed ourselves to be victims. Her ego/pain-body replied that I was “victim blaming.”
The Victim is a false identity of the ego, an assumed identity. Remember, the ego is an identity thief! So, if I’m blaming anybody, I’m blaming the ego. I’m ego blaming! Human unconsciousness blaming!
The ego is both the perpetrator AND the victim. Until you can see that, you’ll be trapped. It’s the ego in you that doesn’t want to let go of the victim identity.
As Eckhart Tolle says in The Power of Now:
“It is true that only an unconscious person will try to use or manipulate others, but it is equally true that only an unconscious person can be used or manipulated. If you resist or fight unconscious behavior in others, you become unconscious yourself. But surrender doesn’t mean that you allow yourself to be used by unconscious people. Not at all. It is perfectly possible to say ‘no’ firmly and clearly to a person or to walk away from a situation and be in a state of complete inner nonresistance at the same time.”
He calls this a “high-quality no,” free of reactivity and negativity. I was rather shaken by that passage and meditated on it for a long time. Then I looked at how I felt I’ve been victimized in the past, especially in close relationships. And I realized I hadn’t been living from the Truth and honoring my boundaries. Basically, I hadn’t been giving “high quality nos.”
Just as a “high quality no” is a way of honoring your boundaries, so is not believing someone who insists you’re guilt tripping them or giving them ultimatums when you’re simply trying to not allow yourself to be victimized. Taking conscious action to honor your boundaries is another way not to be manipulated or used by unconscious people. This is something I’m still learning! Im learning how not to be a victim. I’m learning to victim block (which is a variation of ego blocking)! I just had an image of my Self as the goalie and my ego, Little Bitch, trying to kick a bunch of balls my way! ⚽️🤾♀️🥅😂
Use your inner guidance, the guidance from your deep still place to know where your boundaries are. Don’t listen to someone else’s loud voice, including (especially!) your ego’s, telling you what your boundaries should be. Let Spirit/Consciousness/Love/God be your guide.
