So, as you’ve probably figured out by now, the core message of Ego Rehab is: Look at your ego! Here’s a question to get you started…
What is the strongest component of your ego:

  • Your Will
  • Your Self Image
  • or Your Mind? 

Or has your pain body taken over your ego and is running your life?

Maybe 2 or more components are equally strong?

By will, I mean your “I want this, I don’t want thats” (not preferences, but demands) and all of your control issues—manipulating people, obsessive planning, needing your external environment a certain way, etc. 

The self image includes your roles, titles, gender, appearance, reputation, money, possessions, thoughts and emotions about yourself, wanting to be seen a certain way, etc. 

By mind I mean your unobserved thoughts and emotions, past memories, future fantasies, judgments, projections, complaining, unconscious conditioned patterns, beliefs you’re attached to, etc.

Pain body is Eckhart Tolle’s term for the trapped unobserved, unexpressed emotion you carry inside of you, kind of like your emotional wounding. 

Here is a great snippet from Eckhart Tolle about how to stop the pain body, btw:

The strongest component of my ego is definitely my mind, which shows up as judgmental, analytical (I used to get stuck in analysis paralysis), and always narrating/chattering. 

Now choose your top 5 ego disguises from this list modified from my Know Thy Ego worksheet.This is not an easy task. Meditate on it. And when you have your top 5, you can ask someone close to you if they agree with your assessment or what they would pick for your current top 5. This is by no means a full list, so feel free to add if I’ve missed anything.

List of Ego Disguises:

  • Pride 
  • Anger
  • Shame
  • Frustration 
  • Know-it-all
  • Drama queen
  • Ambition
  • Résumé builder
  • Nice Guy/Girl
  • Life of the Party
  • Condescending
  • Insulting
  • Overachiever
  • Delusion
  • Denial
  • Lacking empathy
  • Narcissistic
  • The responsible one
  • Codependent
  • Deception
  • Carrot Chasing
  • Attention-seeking/Need for Validation
  • Need for approval
  • Intellectual
  • Future Addiction (thinking about the future)
  • Past Addiction (thinking about the past)
  • Coldness/Insensitivity
  • Willful/Stubborn
  • Stress
  • Pushover/Weak boundaries 
  • Regretful
  • Egoic Manifester (I WILL get what I want!)
  • Separateness/independence/aloofness
  • Self centered/selfish
  • Evasiveness 
  • Gossip 
  • Fantasy
  • Conquerer/Seductress
  • Negativity
  • Aggression 
  • Low self esteem
  • Mean/Bully
  • Attachment
  • Martyr/Rescuer
  • Prince/Princess
  • Reputation 
  • Timid
  • Superior
  • People pleaser
  • Addiction: _________
  • Self importance 
  • Self consciousness
  • Specialness
  • Role (mom, husband, banker, healer, teacher, landlord, elder, etc.): __________
  • Cause (environmentalism, animal rights, etc.): ____________
  • Diet: ___________
  • Unworthiness
  • Insufficiency
  • Insecurity
  • Comparison 
  • Victim/self pity
  • Afraid to hurt people’s feelings
  • Control
  • Immaturity
  • Neediness
  • Complainer/Moper
  • “Spiritual” ego
  • Religious ego: __________
  • Social/Political views: __________
  • Resentment 
  • Needing to prove something
  • Defensiveness
  • Judgmental/Critical
  • Vanity/Attachment to Appearance
  • Workaholic
  • Manipulation
  • Discontent
  • Greed
  • Fear
  • Other: ____________________________

Boy, it’s hard to pick the top 5! I originally was going to say top 3, but then I couldn’t narrow mine down! 😂 Let’s see, I think my top 5 are:  

  • Fantasy 😶‍🌫️
  • Future addiction 🔮
  • Judgmental/Critical (toward my self and others) 🤨
  • Self Consciousness/Insecurity/Unworthiness/Insufficiency 😦
  • Victim/Self Pity (I’m still experiencing bouts of self pity/victimhood, but not as much as earlier in my life. Breakup, menopause, aging triggered it in the past year+) 😔

Now it’s easier for me to watch for these things when they come up. 👀

I think we should have a separate top 5 list for egoic patterns/disguises in romantic relationships. Mine would be:

  • Attachment (not being able to let go when I should) ✊
  • Control (trying to make them who I want them to be) 💪
  • Frustration and Complaining (when they don’t turn out the way I want them to!) 😫
  • Fantasy (and its flip side, denial)😶‍🌫️
  • Unworthiness (allowing myself to be secondary/not prioritized) 😦

There’s definitely some overlap with my general ego patterns list.

Bonus points: name your ego and see if you can draw or find a picture of your ego. 

My ego, Little Bitch, is pretty much summed up by ALL the little monsters in this pic:

Actually, if I could combine them with a pic of Diane Keaton, as I said in my video, it would be perfect! 💯👌🏽😈😂